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What’s in a Word?

Celebrant Musings on “Officiants” in Modern Wedding Ceremonies

I’ve always been fascinated by the power of words and the stories behind them.

Anyone who knows me knows that my book, The Will To Surthrive, wasn’t just inspired by my own journey. It was also inspired by another ‘will’ altogether – William Shakespeare. Or, as I like to think of him, history’s most successful celebrant of the human condition.

Shakespeare had an extraordinary ability to reshape how people thought simply by reshaping language. He coined words, stretched meanings, played with assumptions, and reflected society back to itself in ways that influenced everything from politics to perceptions of monarchy. Kings and queens might have worn the crowns, but Will had his hand on the script.

Perhaps that’s why I find language debates so interesting.

Words aren’t fixed monuments. They evolve and gather meanings. Sometimes they lose meaning; sometimes they acquire new ones entirely.

Take the word ‘officiant‘. To some, it suggests legal authority. To others, it simply describes the person leading a ceremony. Neither interpretation emerged from nowhere. The word has carried different shades of meaning across different places and periods.

I’ll admit it – I don’t have a problem with using the word officiant to describe my role.

Perhaps that’s because, in a very real sense, I am in office. It may be a self-appointed office rather than one granted by church, state, or statute, but it is an office nonetheless. When I step into a ceremony, I take on a responsibility. I prepare diligently, hold the space, guide the proceedings, manage emotions, tell stories, calm nerves, read the room, and lead people through one of the most significant moments of their lives. I also guide them honestly regarding the current legalities and support couples to have the legal documentation before the celebration of marriage, which I officiate!

Of course, I understand the concerns some celebrants have about the term. In certain contexts, people may assume an officiant has legal authority to register a marriage. We don’t! Clarity matters, and we should always be transparent about what we can and cannot do. We are awaiting the outcome on our legal position to marry couples from the Wedding Law Reform, and that may soon change everything.

But I also think it’s worth remembering that officiating at a celebration of marriage is about far more than legal paperwork.

When couples search online, many already know the word officiant but have still never encountered the term celebrant. Using a familiar word can help people immediately understand our role. It creates a bridge rather than a barrier.

For me, officiant speaks to the act of presiding over a ceremony with skill, confidence, and care. It describes someone entrusted with holding a moment, shaping an experience, and guiding people through a rite of passage.

That’s something celebrants do exceptionally well.

So while I am happy to follow any collective approach agreed by our profession, I also think it’s worth understanding the full meaning and history of the words we use before we discard them. Language has a habit of carrying more than one truth at a time.

And if standing before a gathering of family and friends, leading a ceremony, holding everyone’s attention, and carrying the responsibility for the occasion’s atmosphere doesn’t count as officiating, I’m not entirely sure what does.

Who Owns Words?

This is where things become interesting. Throughout history, rites of passage have often been overseen by institutions – churches, states, registrars, and other established authorities.

As modern celebrancy has grown, we’ve created new possibilities and continue to push for greater diversity and choice. We offer ceremonies that are personal, flexible, creative, respectful of diversity and deeply centred on the people involved. Naturally, language evolves alongside that growth.

Perhaps part of my fascination with this debate comes from a lifelong tendency to question who gets to define the meaning of things in the first place.

I’ve never been entirely comfortable when words become fenced in by narrow legal definitions, particularly when those definitions seem designed more to protect established institutions, professional territories, or historical privileges than to reflect how people actually use and understand language.

Of course, the law has its significant place. Clarity matters. Precision matters. Public protection matters.

But language belongs to people before it belongs to legislation.

Many of the words we use every day existed long before the legal frameworks that now seek to define them. Their meanings have evolved through culture, community, and common understanding, not simply through acts of parliament or professional rulebooks.

Perhaps that’s why I find celebrancy such an appealing profession. At its heart, it is inclusive. It adapts. It responds to people’s lives as they are lived, rather than insisting they fit neatly into pre-existing categories. As celebrants, we are often helping individuals and families create ceremonies that reflect who they really are, not who a system says they should be.

So when discussions arise about whether we may or may not use particular words, my instinct is not to ask, “Who owns this term?” but rather, “How do people understand it, and how can we use it honestly and inclusively?”

That feels like a healthier conversation.

After all, Shakespeare himself delighted in stretching language beyond its accepted boundaries. Had he accepted every definition as fixed and final, the English language might be considerably poorer for it.

I’m not suggesting celebrants should start inventing or inveigling words at quite the same rate as Will Shakespeare, but as someone who wrote The Will To Surthrive, you may have guessed that I have such admiration for Bill the Bard; he understood that survival often depends on adaptation. His genius wasn’t simply inventing words; it was helping language evolve to meet the needs of the people using it.

I think celebrancy is doing something similar today…finding new ways to express ancient human experiences. The word “officiant” is not a legally protected title in the UK, and it therefore embraces the notion that celebrants are entrusted with authority by the people they serve.

Latansani operates as an independent wedding celebrant and officiant. I specialise in creating and conducting personalised, symbolic, and celebratory wedding ceremonies. Please note that I do not hold legal licensing to solemnise marriages under UK law. All legal marriage paperwork and registration must be completed separately by the couple through an authorised local registrar or licensed religious official.

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Daily inspiration

Courageous Communication

Pre-wedding preps are full of conversations about flowers or wedding breakfasts, guest invites and seating plans, speeches and first dances. I’m not sure how many couples will sit down and ask each other the harder questions that are essential to their being successfully wed.

And yet, those are the conversations that truly shape a marriage.

How do we handle money together?

What does success mean or look like to you?

How much independence do you need?

What role will family play in our life, now and in the future?

How do you respond when you feel hurt?

These questions are more romantic than they seem…because if you are aligned on them – or even if you agree to disagree – they become the foundations for deeper love.

In my own marriage, some of the most difficult fractures grew quietly in the spaces we hadn’t examined closely enough. Not because we didn’t care but because we assumed love would smooth over differences.

It didn’t…it doesn’t!

Silence can feel peaceful in the early years, but later on, it just becomes distance.

Healthy couples learn to be courageous in their communication; they are curious rather than avoidant because they understand that disagreement is not dangerous. It is data. It reveals where alignment needs strengthening. Their ability to repair, adapt, and maintain is the bedrock of mutual respect and kindness.

One of the most beautiful things I witness as a celebrant is when couples speak honestly in their vows. Not just “you are my everything,” but:

“I promise to listen when we disagree.”

“I promise to tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.”

That is intimacy.

The strength of a marriage is not measured by how little conflict it has but by how safely conflict can be navigated.

Avoided conversations do not disappear.

They wait.

And love deserves more than avoidance.

It deserves courage.

If you’re sitting together right now, navigating those big, honest conversations about your future, you’ve already started the real work of marriage. Love like that deserves a ceremony that honours your specific truth…no fluff, but real stuff.

Book a call with me to see how we can craft a ceremony that’s as courageous and intimate as the life you’re building together.