Books by Julie Whitney

The scenes we act out, the scripts we inherit, the characters we meet and the stories we choose to rewrite all shape who we become.

So I sacked my old scriptwriter and appointed myself author instead.

That philosophy sits at the heart of my writing. I am resilient, resourceful and endlessly hopeful. I love fiercely, laugh loudly and believe wholeheartedly in our ability to change the narrative - both on the page and in our own lives.

Above all, I write to connect.

I write about the messiness and magic of being human: humour and heartbreak, love and loss, courage and reinvention, and ordinary people navigating extraordinary moments. Whether I am writing for adults or children, prose or poetry, I want my words to make readers feel something - to laugh, reflect, recognise themselves, or perhaps see the world a little differently.

“I am truly honoured you allowed me to read the draft of your book – The Little White Book of Funeral Celebrancy. I found it engaging, comprehensive and exceptionally knowledgeable. You tackle all key elements, including some I’ve not encountered, and anyone aspiring to be a good celebrant should have this as an essential resource!” Kerry Thornton, Funeral Director

“I am genuinely so thrilled for you, and incredibly privileged to have seen this book taking shape along the way. To see all those years of experience, knowledge, reflection and care brought together into a published piece of work is just wonderful. You have an incredible body of experience to draw upon. I have no doubt that this will be an incredibly valuable resource for celebrants and funeral professionals alike.” Penelope Boycott – Head of Learning Academy of Modern Celebrancy

“I had no idea what to expect when I picked this up, but it was way beyond anything I could have imagined. I laughed and cried and then laughed some more. I’m hoping for some sequels!” Sandra Baker

“I’ve just finished your book – Not Lost For Words – and loved it. Personally, I could relate to a lot of it, especially being prepared for her death but not prepared for your/my life after it. Even without those shared experiences, I think it offers so much experience and wisdom on how things can be done better. I loved the poems too, especially ‘Dance on the table.'” Cathy Pennicott

“As a man, I found some of these poems uncomfortable to read – but importantly so. They made me reflect on the ways men, not only of my generation, can behave.” Anonymous (male) reader

“What a warm, insightful and authentic piece of writing in The Will To Surthrive. Julie has opened her soul and, in turn, will open the minds and hearts of others. A brilliant book!” Theresa Woulfe

The Little White Book of Funeral Celebrancy

The Little White Book of Funeral Celebrancy

I never really set out to write books and certainly not one on funerals. They have grown, much like my work as a celebrant, from observing and listening to people, sharing their stories and discovering just how much there is to learn when we talk honestly about life, love, loss and the way we say goodbye.

Over the past six years, and through leading hundreds of funerals, I have been welcomed into people’s homes and trusted with memories that are funny, moving, complicated and wonderfully human. Those conversations have shaped me as a celebrant, but they have also made me want to put some of what I have learned onto paper.

The Little White Book of Funeral Celebrancy: Crafting Words Where Grief and Grace Stand Together isn’t a textbook, and I certainly don’t pretend to have all the answers. It is personal, practical and rooted in real experience – the things I’ve noticed, the lessons families have taught me and the stories that have stayed with me.

And while the book has grown from my work as a celebrant, it is certainly not just for celebrants. It is for anyone facing the loss of someone they love, trying to find the right words, navigating the unfamiliar territory of a funeral, or simply wondering how on earth you begin to say goodbye.

The Reflective Practice Workbook

The companion Reflective Practice Workbook grew from a rather different question: where do we put what we absorb?

Celebrants and funeral professionals routinely step into circumstances that can be extraordinarily difficult. We may encounter sudden or traumatic deaths, the death of a child, suicide, complicated family relationships, profound grief and stories that stay with us long after the funeral has ended. We are expected to remain calm, compassionate and professional throughout – and then, very often, move on to the next family.

Yet celebrants and funeral directors do not routinely have the kind of formal supervision that exists in many other professions whose work involves sustained exposure to grief, trauma and emotional complexity.

I believe reflective practice has an important part to play in filling some of that space.

The Little White Book of Funeral Celebrancy: Reflective Practice Workbook is the CPD companion to the main book. It isn’t therapy, nor does it attempt to replace professional psychological support where that is needed. Instead, it provides a structured place to stop, think and examine our practice: the language we use, the choices we make, the emotional responses we experience, the assumptions we carry and the things particular families or funerals may have taught us.

Because professional development shouldn’t only be about learning how to do more. Sometimes it should give us permission to examine what we are already doing, understand why we do it and consider the effect this work has on us too.

The two books therefore belong together, while serving slightly different purposes. The main book explores the thinking behind funeral celebrancy – purpose, people, words, stories, ceremony and the many decisions that shape a meaningful farewell. The workbook turns the focus back towards the practitioner and asks us to reflect upon our own practice and continue learning from it.

Both have grown from conversations and from my own experiences of life, loss, love and laughter. Some of the content is practical and some more personal, but one thing runs through everything I write: a fascination with people, their stories, and the extraordinary lives hidden inside the apparently ordinary.

Perhaps, too, an acknowledgement that those of us who spend our working lives looking after other people’s stories sometimes need somewhere to put our own reflections.

Ferocious Women: Poetry on Strength, Healing and Finding Your Voice

These poems were written across years of movement; between countries, cities, seasons of life, and the many conversations that quietly shaped me. Some began on aeroplanes over unfamiliar landscapes, others in apartments filled with laughter, in airports and gardens, beside seas, or during meanders through streets that slowly became home.

Living overseas has given me the gift of seeing life through more than one lens. Different languages, customs, and ways of living have deepened my understanding of belonging, distance, identity, and connection. Travel has taught me that although places may differ greatly, human feeling rarely does.

At the heart of this collection are the women whose friendships, wisdom, resilience, humour, and honesty have influenced my thinking over the years. Women of different ages and cultures: mothers and daughters, old friends and chance acquaintances have left their imprint on these pages. Through shared stories, quiet encouragement, sometimes disagreement, kindness, and courage, they have widened my perspective and enriched my life in ways both subtle and profound.

If these poems invite you, my reader, to pause, remember, question, or feel less alone in your own journey, then they have found their purpose.

The Will To Surthrive

Even before the Coronacoaster, I had become aware of the futility of slogging at an education system which I no longer believe has any principles, for a life that I don’t especially relish, so that I can buy useless things that I know I don’t like.

After a great deal of loss, feeling the burnout from teaching, and an existential crisis brought on by my Mother’s death from dementia, I had decided that life is too short to be living anything less than the one of which I am capable. There were seemingly no roadblocks – only my own thoughts and fears.

Then came a shockingly timed loss of my job, along with financial insecurity, and a global pandemic. That’s a motorway pile-up, if ever there was one. No time to wallow…the show must go on! Time to put into action all the lessons I have learned to thrive in the heart of happiness, even amongst the chaos which surrounds us.

Not Lost For Words

One effect of grief is being unable to formulate our thoughts, struggling further to muster up enough coherence to process them.  It can be just as hard to express our empathy and sorrow for others – when they go through the same rites of passage – without seeming to make it about our own mourning, suffering and anguish.

But in trying to find the words, we persist with compassion. In trying to find meaning, we may be able to help others.

We are ‘Not Lost for Words!’

Sometimes, despite being mindful and respectful of the needs of someone diagnosed with dementia, it is also painful and hard to bear. Dementia is cruel and unrelenting. But what makes it so much harder is the way words are casually misappropriated.

This collection of poems and anecdotes formulate some shared help, focusing on the way words can be used to empower people living with dementia, to help us to stay positively engaged and to sustain feelings of belonging and self-worth.