…and I have stood at its ending.
Both have shaped me.
That perspective gives me a deep respect for the vows couples make. Marriage is not a fairytale – it is a living, evolving partnership.
As a celebrant, I create ceremonies that honour not just romance, but resilience, friendship and the daily choice to love well.
When I first married, I believed love would carry us through anything. Love felt powerful, intoxicating, unstoppable. Surely that was the point.
What I’ve learned is this: love is essential – but it is not sufficient.
Love is the spark; marriage is the structure that protects it.
Two people can adore each other and still struggle if they cannot communicate well. They can feel deep chemistry and still collide over values, ambition, money, family boundaries, or emotional needs. Love doesn’t automatically resolve differences. It simply makes the differences worth navigating.
A strong marriage requires skills most of us were never formally taught:
- How to repair after conflict
- How to express needs without blame
- How to listen without defensiveness
- How to grow without outgrowing each other
Romance begins a relationship but it’s character that sustains it.
As a celebrant, I stand with couples at a moment full of joy and anticipation. But beneath the beauty of the day, I care deeply about what follows. I care that they understand marriage is not powered by feeling alone but it is powered by daily choice.
Real love matures. It shifts from intensity to steadiness. From butterflies to loyalty. From attraction to deep friendship.
If I could whisper one truth to every couple exchanging vows, it would be this:
Protect the relationship with intention, not just emotion.
Love is the beginning. The work of loving well? That is what makes a marriage last.
Latansani 